An Open Letter to A Spammer

# Hours Awake - 10
# Cups of Coffee - 4
# Spam emails in last 47 minutes - 24

Dear Sir/Madam,

I appreciate your offer of a lifetime supply of Cialis. I appreciated it as much if not more than the offer I received this morning of a lifetime supply of Viagra; frankly, I hear that Cialis does the job just as well but eliminates those nasty little heart attack side effects I've been hearing about.
As I mentioned above, I do appreciate your offer but I'm really quite content in that department. I'm 27 years old and I really have enough trouble keeping the old "canoe" from coming out of the water as it is. I work in Beverly Hills and if you've even been walking around Beverly Hills during the lunch rush I think you'd understand.
I work very hard at my job so I can appreciate your work ethic. I mean wow! You must send me 4 or 5 emails every hour and each one of them looks personalized just for me...well, with the exception of the ones sent to Ruth or Billy Bob...but even great men make typos, am I right? :)
On a similar note, just in case your "cubicle-mate" is the one sending me information on "enhancing" my "nether regions," please be kind enough to pass along that I am fine in that department as well. You two must be running neck and neck for that employee of the month plaque and while I wish I could help out, I can only wish you both the best of luck. In the “manhood department” I am at the very least, comfortable with the size of my best buddy and I’ve had only a few complaints in several years of “giving the business.” To be honest, it’s something I might have thought about as a younger man but I fear you’ve caught me a few years too late. Tee hee.

So that is all. Thanks for your interest but I’m sure your time would be better spent on someone who really needs your services.

Sincerely,

Shaques

P.s. My tits are fine too.