The Coming Storm

# Cups of coffee - 3/4
# Hours awake - 1
# Bad stories to post - 7

So instead of trying to tell all of my friends individually, I decided to create this Blog so that in one take everyone could hear the same story. Of course, this will eliminate the exponential exaggerations that occur with each retelling (the fish was THIS big) but I'm sure I can go back and change things unbelievably believable. This begins with the coming storm...the re-wedding of my father. My siblings and I have had time to get used to the idea and up until three days ago we were all fine with it. Of course, in traditional father fashion, I get this email three days ago:

"Fine with JXXX and JXXX as well. We're gonna have some fun stuff here - surprises - that you will really like - starting Friday the 9th during the day and continuing through Sunday. Not your typical wedding - maybe we won't even get married. So you're welcome with your friends when you can.

See ya.

Love ya, Dad"

OK, for bonus points, who can figure out what's wrong with the preceding passage? Anyone? (On a side note, we will be creating a point tally for all those who actually read this and a price will be awarded at the end of each quarterly period).

The first interesting thing that comes to mind might be the "maybe we won't even get married passage." I'm not saying we would have a problem with that but just what has this crazy bastard got in store for us? Needless to day, I've secured passage on rail, sea and air just in case it turns into an old Outer Limits episode and I need to depart immediately. The second and equally interesting part is "...welcome with your friends when you can." Anyone think he'll notice if we don't show up. He might if he was actually being serious when he asked me if I wanted to be a bartender for the wedding (he was) and suddenly everyone was wondering how to fill their gin and tonics.

Perhaps it's just dad being dad - he's always been a little spacey. Or maybe it's his soon to be (or not) wife's "Dutch" (read "complete absence of") sense of humor. Yeah, he's fucking hilarious.

"What, you like Bartending." - Yeah Dad, I also like cooking, but I'm not going to cater my cousin's Bar Mitzvah.

-S